The "SSMORGAN5" Ship

 It's been a really long time since I have written. We have been just trying survive. The last post I shared was when my son Tyler was leaving  on his mission. Since then he married his high school sweetheart Lydia, and have had the cutest baby named Calvin. Yes, I am a grandma! That little boy is such a light for me amount so much of the darkness I am feeling these days. These last five years have been just hard both emotionally and physically. One of my daughters has been affected by some terrible trauma, and it has been really hard on her. I hope someday that her and I can share her story to help others. But for now, that is all I can say. She now suffers from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. She is trying to move on with her life in a healthy way, but has really struggled. I've watch a girl who knew who she was, what she wanted in life, and who was so strong, turn into a  confused, and broken spirit. She has made some good strides this year, and we continue to pray that she c

Its been so long since I have blogged, that I knew it was time to update. Where to start? I guess the best place to start is that in 2016 my son Tyler was called to serve a mission in the Tallahassee Florida mission. He was to enter the MTC on July 20th 2016. He was ecstatic, and we were as completely ready as we could be for him to go the week before the 20th. We decided to go to Lake Powell as a family 1 more time before he left. When we got home he would leave 2 days later. Tyler decided to really be careful not to do any extreme sports so that he was safe and healthy to leave. He really took an easy, so we thought. Sometimes freak things happen!  We were taking an very easy hike through one of the canyons, when Tyler took a small leap to land onto another boulder. Well, apparently he landed just right, or wrong depending on how you look at it. Tyler was in excruciating pain! we managed to help get him out of the canyon and back into the boat. His foot was already so swollen and b

A Change in my Heart Many of you know, and understand the the joys and the hardships of motherhood. I have found myself struggling to find joy in motherhood lately. I have been feeling overwhelmed in my abilities to be the kind of mother that my children need. My babies have some struggles, and there are days that I wonder, how will we get through the day. I want to be be everything that they need, but some days it just seems that I am not enough.  This morning as I woke up, I realized that even though I feel like I am perhaps "failing" them, that we are in this together. If I truly do my best, that the Lord will make up for, and help me to know what I can do to help them.  I love my babies, and so does my Heavenly Father. This motherhood thing is hard! I now understand that it is my responsibility to find joy in motherhood, that I can be happy being a mom. So, today I will change! I will look for and pray to see all the joys, tender mercies, love, fun, and opportunities that

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 Had another anxiety attack last night after posting another song. I am trying to figure out why it is so hard to share my music. As I was thinking about it this morning, it dawned on me , that my music comes from somewhere deep inside of me, and letting you all see right into my very soul is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I always have thought that I wore my heart on my sleeve, but until now I have realized I have been holding back a huge part of me. Here's to learning, growing, and doing hard things. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10204433976723521&set=vb.1654457018&type=2&theater /www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10203972287021567&set=vb.1654457018&type=2&theater

 Last Sunday I bore my testimony in church. My heart was so full. Having heard the previous Brother's and Sister's who had born their testimonies, really reminded me of why I love Centerville, this neighborhood and the Centerville 7th ward.  One particular sister stood and bore her testimony which such honesty. She had said that while her children were such a blessing in her life, that sometimes it was really hard to be a mom. She spoke of how mom's all around her often say how much they love being a mom, and  how their children are their world's. It's not very often when you hear other mother's talk about the hardship's, and trials you go through as a parent. She said that sometimes life just sucks, and it's really hard.  Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I am an open book. I speak from my heart, and I don't like pretending that life is always perfect. The truth of the matter is, life is hard, and it does "suck" sometimes. We al